Divine intervention?

Its friday, a day of rest and pray and so I thought that I should do something that I have been meaning to do for quite sometime but have been putting it off. I go into the front room which for the time being we are using as a storage place and get out a plastic bag, and climb two flights of stairs with it. In my room I place the bag on my desk and open it, and there it is-The nobel quran with english translation.

I prepare myself to read but at the same time feeling scared and excited. Its hard to explain but I have always thought if I read it with the english subs maybe i wont fully believe it or doubt it, maybe thats my own ignorance. Do not get me wrong I love my faith and the individual outlook of faith that I have but after years of just reading in arabic and not really understanding a word of the holy book apart from that it is the divine word. I was getting frustrated at my misconceptions and those of others around me, its the old culture versus religion debate again. So i thought that this would be the summer where i sit down and pace myself throught the quran but also read, understand and internalise the meaning of it.

For me this is a form of atonement, cleansing my soul of the past sins i have commited (little white lies, gossiping etc). I dont know whether one day i will become "super religious" or what not but I need to feel peace in my soul and this is what it is all about. This is also my way of paying respect to my grandparents that sadly left us nearly two years ago.

Maybe I am being selfish also, hoping that if I pray and atone myself I will be rewarded by getting something that i have wanted for a very long time. My daddyji says that the quran e pak is like food for soul, I certainly hope that it does feed my soul this summer.