Ive had a time to think and i must say i am feeling better than earlier, I'm not totally out of my depressive mood, but i am getting there. today i even managed to have three decent meals, which my mother was pleased about, but then again i could never resist her roast spicy chicken.
work is well mashallah, i had my mid review, it went better than i thought. me and my tutor were suppose to mark my performance in 11 categories and the maximum in each category was 5 marks, i was going to give my self a 3 or so, but surprisingly i was getting 4s and 5s and a couple 3s. I'm just praying i get a decent pre-reg place with a decent salary, student loans are piling up!!!
A relative of ours in Pakistan died due to birth complications, may Allah grant her a place in heaven. she leaves behind a husband and four children, one of whom is only a few days old. this has been like a wake up call for me, i think of that poor child and her siblings lives, there is already talks of re-marriage, there is nothing wrong with re-marriage after the death of your partner, but one never truly receives the love of a mother.
And i have the love of my mother, which ever form that it is in, at least i have it. i am lucky and for that i should be thankful. what ever choices my parents have made for me, regardless of whether i agree with them or not, i still love them very much so, its not their fault that they can not understand their daughter. even i can not understand me or where my life is going to or is taking me right now.
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