is the end here yet?

hey blog,
i know its been a while since I've paid any attention to you, and I'm sorry. i promise to be more attentive from now on.
life has been hectic as usual with all its ups and downs. just as i thought i was coming to terms with him not being in my life, he called me and now I'm back to square one. can you believe it i was actually smiling and laughing last week, i knew it was too good to be true.
i have exams coming up too, which i am totally dreading, final year it already killing me! i have to do two master projects by January! arghhh
Eid is coming up but I'm not in the celebrating mood, i wish i was but I'm not.

isn't it amazing how one person can affect you so much, that you change from a happy-ish person into a zombie? i wish i had the same optimistic view on life as he does, that we still have a glimmer of hope. but all hope for me is fading now. there is only a certain amount of times a Muslim girl can ask her parents about the same guy before it starts to appear that the daughter has no shame. i cant ask again, maybe this is how it was suppose to be. i want to move on and forget the pain and cherish the memories that i have with a smile, instead of prolonging this till the bitter end where we both end up even more broken.